Hello,
I'm John Saporito
Writer, editor, raconteur, and probably some other things as well
About Me
John Saporito is the first-place winner of the League of Utah Writers 2019 writing contest. He was named a finalist for the Bellingham Review’s Tobias Wolff Award for Fiction and shortlisted in both the William Faulkner-William Wisdom creative writing contest and the Writers’ Workshop of Asheville memoirs contest. His work has been published in Bright Flash Literary Review, Woods Reader, and Coastal Angler Magazine.
John received his BA in history and is a member of Phi Alpha Theta, the National History Honor Society, although to date he has scarcely used either distinction.
When not writing or working, John enjoys exercise, spending time outdoors, cooking, drinking an excess of coffee, talking to himself, being perennially let down by his favorite sports teams, performing unpaid yardwork, and hanging with family. He gets roped into moving furniture and driving people to airports frequently as well. Originally from lower New York, John has lived in Florida, California, and a spate of other places.
John has never been skiing or seen the Caribbean, but he did once put out a very small fire with a beer while dining at a restaurant. Although he lamented the waste of a fine beverage, his heroics prevented what may have become a slightly larger fire, and the bartender rewarded his selfless bravery with a brand new beer.
Other things you may be interested to know about him:
He likes most food, and once starred in a televised French toast eating contest at a local IHOP.
He does not like shaving.
He like trees, water, animals, and copious solitude.
He thinks too much, relaxes too little, and is just OK at video games.
He once got the head of a Lego figurine stuck in his nose, but that was many, many years ago.
He likes fixing things and has been frightened by insects more times than he’d care to admit.
He is not proficient at sitting down.
He once went fishing eighty-seven straight nights (spoiler: he caught many fish).
He watches little-to-no television, and likes movies but fails to see them often. He does read quite a bit—mostly literary fiction, the natural sciences, and other nonfiction as time allows.
He once got a catfish impaled in his arm (the fish was unscathed; he was not).
He once bested the State of Delaware in a postal exchange over an alleged traffic violation. If it had been a larger state the victory may have made the news.
He thought he had collected all American commemorative quarters, but the US Mint had other ideas…
He drinks far too much water but remains thirsty. If you see him in public, he either has water with him or is actively seeking water. So please help.
Prefers bar soap, not body wash.
He sees many, many anole lizards scampering around on a daily basis, but it never grows old and they manage to fascinate him as if he were still a child; he has not lost this quality about him.
He cannot dance, sing, or play instruments, though he has attempted all three.
If you think we’d be a good match, please reach out. Perhaps we can get dinner sometime. Oh wait—wrong website. Know your audience. D’oh.
Thank you for visiting!
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